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I am back on the wagon after losing some weight but gaining it all back again in a matter of weeks. Every morning I am going to say to myself “Christy, YOU are the only one who can do this.  So DO IT.” I have made so many excuses in the past as recently as yesterday.  I said “JC cooks crap and I don’t know how to cook so how can I lose weight?”  Duh learn to cook don’t buy the sweets and crap food.  Replace the sweets with fruit.  You can always find crap (microwavable yummies) that are better for you.  Try smart pop and weight watchers or lean cuisine.  I think I have a better attitude now.  Yesterday I bought food journal.  Today I put a hold on a weight loss memoir at my local library.  It is call 703 How I lost more than a half ton and gained a life by Nancy Makin.  Now I am not that big but at the current rate of gain I could be in a matter of years.  That just ain’t gonna happen.  I need to get healthy and off my hypertension and diabetes meds or I will never be able to accomplish my goals of starting a family.  While I am at it I need to kick this nicotine addiction.  I know I am not perfect I am way flawed but I want this so badly I can taste it.  So what do I do? I do belong to a gym but I can’t go there until the cast on my leg is off.  My joints are so bad from carrying around all this extra weight for years that at 30 I feel 50.  Water workout is the plan for the near future with some weight training and treadmill walking on the side. Hopefully my cast comes off next week. I want to get moving.  There will be some dog walking too.  I just bought a new house in a great neighborhood so hopefully I can get me and my dog out at least 3 times a week.  But I am so tired all the time (wait that is another excuse.  I am just full of them.)  I won’t be as tired all the time if I get moving.  This blogging thing is pretty sweet I  had so much in my head that it was about to explode and now I feel much better just by putting my thoughts out there.  I don’t care if anyone reads this I just feel good that I have a release.  I have so much to look forward to in the next few weeks getting out of my cast,  eating more healthy foods, sharing my journey with the world.  My psychologist tells me I should write my story well here is a place for me to do that.  I am way stoked.

I am sick, a head cold with congestion in my nose.  SO what ever I eat I can’t taste and it is driving me insane.  I am craving food constantly.  I was just wondering if this is normal.  I am hoping I am not the only one.  I have never experienced this or at least never noticed because I wasn’t trying to lose weight and track everything. This is really bothering me because I was doing so good until today.

So even though the wallet is thin I found a way to join weight watchers.  I decided that it would be worth it in the long run.  Now I have buddy slim and WW to help me along the weight loss road I have decided to travel.  WW has etools which is similar to this site so I think I will be extra motivated with all this snazzy high-tech help plus a weekly meeting and weigh in that will hold me accountable for my intake and excersize goals.  because if the scale says I am not doing things right I know to change them.

I think today went well I didn’t really feel hungry.  I am about to go upstairs and give Dance Dance Revolution a whirl.  So I haven’t lost it yet that is good.  I think I can stick to it if I keep up this way.  Well that is about all I have to say for now.

Back for good until I meet my goal weight.  Up to 325 again and I hate it.  I hurt myself trying to work out now I know something must CHANGE!  So here I go again.  All I can do for now to work out is walk but it is cold outside.  I see spending a lot time at the mall walking.  I will leave my credit card at home or in the car though.  Because my pants aren’t the only thing that is tight.  This economy has hit my wallet in a major way.  So I cannot afford to join a gym either.  Grrr this is so frustrating I tried to join Jenny Craig today and it was too expensive.  Weight Watchers hasn’t worked in the past so I am going to try this with the support of my fellow buddy slimmers.  I am not going to lie this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done but I really want it this time.  My health is deteriorating.  Sometime soon I would like to get pregnant and with all this extra weight and diabetes to boot that is too risky.  I have never wanted to lose weight so badly.  So if any of my old friends are around I am shouting out to you I Am back. For new friends to be reading this add me help me lose.  I am here to help you too so no one feel weird about asking me for help, emailing me when you need to rant or share your success stories. LET’S BE HERE FOR ONE ANOTHER!

OK so I have ambition, motivation and everything else this takes.  I just needed to really WANT it.  It has only been two days of this new found ambition but I really think I can keep it up.  When I first joined buddyslim I made some great strides.  Like lowering my blood sugar, losing a few pounds and my overall attitude was superior.  Then I let myself slip I only gained a couple pounds but my blood sugar went up significantly, and i just cannot let that happen again.  I want to be healthy.  I just cannot let myself get discouraged again.  I know I am going to plateau that is going to happen and this time I will be ready for it.  My biggest enemy is that I LOVE regular soda.  But I found a wonderful calorie free drink from aldi (strawberry lemonade).  It is so yummy if you have an aldi near you I HIGHLY recomend you try some.  So I am taking steps to eliminate the regular soda.  It is a little annoying that my fiancee must keep the Mountain Dew around.  That is the first step I have taken.  I am also back to playing DDR I bought it for the wii and it has so much better songs on it.  It helps a lot when you know the songs to keep the beat.  I also have to admit it is more fun than the wii fit and less nerve-racking since you don’t get weighed everytime you want to use it.  I am still not good at it because I have no rythem but I am have fun and sweating profusely. So all and all things are on an upswing and I am going to try to be more frequent with my buddyslim visits and blogs.  So here I go again.  Let jsut cross our fingers that the motivation is here to stay!

It has been forever since I wrote here.  Since then I have quit ddr, quit wii fit and started drinking real pop again.  I feel terrible I haven’t weighed myself in I don’t know how long.   I have probably gain ten million pounds.   I am so depressed I just don’t know what to do.  My friend Eric wants to be excersize buddies with me but he lives for ever away.  Like 2 hours so that won’t work.  He got the wii fit too and has stopped playing.  What is wrong with us why is it so hard to stick to this whole weight loss thing.  I mean I have been trying for 20 years to lose weight and I have never been able to do it.  20 years and I am only 29.  This really sucks I want to cry.  I am so sorry for whining.  Today sucks and it is my man’s birthday and I just feel like freaking out.  Hell I am freaking out.

I just wanted to check in.  Things are going well.  I have lost all the weight I gained and some.  I wii fit all the time it is sooooooo much fun I forget I working out.  What could be better?

this is totally pissing me off I got on my wii fit and it told me I was over the weight restrictions.  I didn’t eat much for dinner so then I changed my clothes and i “FIT”.  but then I shifted my weight and I was again over the weight limit.  I don’t know what to do I paid A LOT of money for this and now I can’t use it until I LOSE weight.  I am so frustrated.  I guess it is back to ddr for awhile until i am small enough to wii fit.  But I hate ddr it makes me hurt.  My parents cancelled my gym membership cause I don’t use it.  Maybe I should walk more.  OH wait this is Michigan it is freezing out.  What to do?  What to do?  Any suggestions?

Well my weight is higher than other scales weigh me on the wii fit so I have to start from 325 instead of 320 or even 315 but my wii came today and I plan to work on it every day.  So hopefully the number will be coming down.  also my wii fit age is 51 which is really bad cause I am only 29.  but I knew it would be bad cause my balance sucks.  My fiancee who is also a big guy was only 23 in wii fit age and that is only a year off so he must be doing something better than me. well I am not going to just sit here I am going to go start wii fitting myself slim and young.